20 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Getting MarriedLove and Relationships Neha Garg Ahuja
Embracing a life partner who can always stand by you and respects you the way you are is no less than a dream in millennial times, whether you are choosing to go for an arranged marriage, or a love marriage. We believe couples today accept the fact that weddings are beyond exchanging vows and are practical in planning the key things that matter a lot for a happy and successful marriage. Couples are pretty much open about their choices and priorities with whom they are comfortable spending the rest of their lifetime. They love to discuss everything before the wedding so that mutual understanding and cognitive mindset develop from both sides and leave no space for confusion and regrets later. The dilemma is not about asking questions but mutually deciding and answering the thought they have for/about each other. There is no harm in asking questions to your partner if you have anything that comes to your mind.
Both people in a relationship have the right to ask questions because it's they who have to stay together and be each other's companions in good and bad times. Before a couple makes the families sit down and get to know each other, it's most preferred to sit and talk to each other, clear things, confusions, and insecurities before meeting the parents or arranging for a family meeting.
We have listed down the best possible questions to ask your partner before you plan the big proposal. You must ask these openly and without hesitation as it's not just about your present, but your future too. The clarity of thoughts and openness in a relationship help make a wonderful marriage.
Also Read: The Ultimate Marriage Proposal Checklist You Can’t Do Without
Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Getting Married
Clarity and trust are built only when both of you discuss things openly, respecting each other's decisions and ways of thinking. Deciding to get married to someone is not an easy job, it’s a decision you have to make for your future and life ahead. With so much going on around you, it’s possible to forget to ask the most important questions from your partner which will potentially help in making the decision easier.
1. Are you ready to get married?
There's a difference between you wanting to get married because you want to and you need to get married because of certain reasons like - family pressure, age, etcetera. One of the most crucial questions to ask your partner is - if he/she is ready to begin this new journey or not. Getting married is a full-time commitment and nothing that you do just for the sake of it. You should be ready - mentally, physically, and emotionally!
2. What are your expectations from your partner?
Everyone dreams for their life partner to be a certain way like calm, talkative, understanding, cooperative, pretty, smart, outgoing, etcetera. Discussing these expectations with your potential partner would be helpful for both of you. It will help the other person to know better what exactly you are looking for in a partner and gives you better clarity of thought.
3. Do you want to have kids in the future (and how many)
I feel having kids is such a personal decision, it should not have any impact on you from society or the people around you. Therefore, it is really important to know if you both want kids in the future and how many.
Some marriages are either broken or on the verge of breaking just because both partners are not on the same page. If one partner wants a child, and the other shows no desire to have one, it’s better to have this thing clear before you take things to the next level.
4. Are you okay with having a working partner?
Though we are living in the 21st century, where women are working and excelling in the fields, some people do not prefer getting married to a working partner. And if you are supportive of a working partner, then make sure you clarify if she is going to continue working in the same city or if she is okay with moving to another city where you live. How are you both going to manage this, to ensure a happy married life?
5. Does your partner cook?
‘Do you know how to cook’ is no longer a question that is to be asked of women only, these days men are equally responsible for taking care of the house and helping with household chores. Asking if your partner can cook or not is a perfectly normal question. It’s not like you want them to cook for you every day, but to know that they can help once in a while is more than enough.
6. Do you love traveling?
All those traveling photos on Pinterest and Instagram make you want to book your tickets, pack your bags and leave for a beautiful destination, but maybe that’s not the case with your partner. It’s ideal to ask if they share a similar love for traveling and exploring places. If yes, then where would they love to go and if not, then how to inculcate this habit for a fun-filled future? Having a partner with opposite likes and dislikes, may not be a great adventure in the long run.
Also Read: How Pre-Marriage Counseling Can Help Strengthen Your Relationship
7. Are you okay staying with a joint family or do you prefer staying alone?
Knowing your partner's preferences is very important for a comfortable living. Maybe your partner is not used to living with family and wants to live separately, or maybe they like the idea of living together under one roof, just like 'Hum Saath Saath Hain'. In both cases, you must know what they want and like.
8. What are your qualities?
The couples should openly share their greatest qualities to find the reason why they should be together.
9. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Are you looking for a talkative partner or someone who is completely calm and composed? The aura of your partner matters a lot for the well-being of both.
10. Do you like watching movies?
Talking about movies could be the long and most interesting discussion between couples. This is one of the ways to learn about each other’s liking and personalities.
11. What is your favorite food or cuisine?
Especially when both of you are foodies. Food is one of the most important elements of discussions and knowing each other's choices will help you know if you have similar taste buds or totally opposite.
Also Read: Plan The Perfect Menu With The Right Indian Food Catering In Los Angeles
12. Do you love to read?
Ask each other which genre you like and how you love to read.
13. What motivates you for a healthy and balanced lifestyle?
Asking how dedicated your partner is towards a healthy lifestyle is equally beneficial for a peaceful and stress-free life.
Also Read: 9 Yoga Asanas For Brides To Deal With Pre-Wedding Jitters
14. How will you manage your personal and professional life?
If your partner decides to work after marriage, then how would they manage their personal and professional life efficiently so it doesn’t impact your marriage?
15. What type of wedding do you want?
Do they want a simple temple wedding, intimate home wedding, romantic destination wedding, or a traditional wedding affair with everything pomp and show?
Also Read: 25+ Destination Wedding Planning Tips You Cannot Miss
16. What are your religious views?
Are you god-fearing or liberal in religious aspects?
17. Are you a music lover?
Which genre do you enjoy the most?
18. Do you love pets?
Having pets at home is common but does your partner love to have them or not and if he/she loves which one do they want to keep and who is going to do the needful for the pets?
19. How have you planned for financial security?
Do you have any fixed deposits or safe money to use for any mishap or to use at tough times?
20. Do you have any plans of settling abroad?
Will it be ok to move abroad for a job or a better future? How they have planned it to be like with family or alone. These are the questions that are crucial to clarify before taking the big step.
For a couple to decide on a life partner that is caring and supportive as they expect is tough. But these questions will help to understand the thoughts they both carry. It can help the couple in knowing their compatibility and comfort level. How they perceive each other, their life, their values, and their future could be acknowledged while making this big decision.
It’s an old saying,” You can know a person well only when you stay with them”.
So share the good time with a well-trusted and honest partner who doesn't shy away from answering these questions, values your intention and time to get the best answers with a commitment to fulfill, and promises to take forever. We also expect our questions will be helpful enough for you to find the best partner that you are looking for.
Co-Author: Radhika Sharma